An end to summer?

I’ve been worrying about this weekend for months.  It was supposed to be the week I would start working my Fall hours, directly after a hectic wedding weekend and with Eric is gone for 5 days.  I expected to be anxious, depressed, stressed, and lonely.  Instead, it is still the weekend after Lauren’s wedding, and Eric is still gone — but I do not have to work, and I have had the privilege of hanging out with two of my favorite girls, my newer friend Kristen and my best friend Betsy.  And guess what we did?  Ate and talked, obviously.  Yep.  And how fortunate I am to know them both.

Betsy left this morning, and today is quiet.  I watched way too many episodes of LOST on Netflix.com.  I cuddled with Kieran.  I emailed Eric an annoying picture of me cuddling with Kieran while watching LOST.  When I got restless I walked to the park with a blanket, my journal, bible, and a book of e.e. cummings poetry Eric gave me the first Christmas we were dating (2007).  I parked in a quiet, sunny spot, and began to read and write.  The sun only lasted for about three minutes before I was completely in shade and getting chilly.  A boy and his mom came to play tennis in the court right next to me, but thankfully they were speaking some language I couldn’t identify (Russian maybe?) so it didn’t bother me — usually I get distracted by conversation.  When I got too cold, I packed up and went home.  All in all my outing took about 30 minutes, including walking.  But at least I got out of the house, into the fresh air, under the blue sky, and onto summer grass that will soon be very, very soggy.  I forgot headphones, but I listened to Beach House through my phone’s speakers the whole way back, and it was so relaxing that now I feel like drinking tea and listening to Teen Dream all night.

Here’s where I cope with the fact that it’s September, school has started, and it will be officially Fall soon.  I’m not ready for it — mostly because I’d be happy with months and months of Fall, but that doesn’t happen in Portland.  Instead I know the tress will turn glorious colors and drop their leaves in a timeline of about a week, and then the rest of the “season” will consist of piles of quickly decomposing yard debris washed away by our practical monsoon season.  The end of Summer brings with it RAIN and gloominess along with all the cozy warmth of impending Winter.  And I’m not ready to say good bye to Summer.  As a [probably premature] ode to Summer, since I’m settling into a very cozy, candlelit, Fall-feeling evening, here are a few of my favorite pictures of the season, in no particular order.  (*If you’re impressed by any of these, Eric probably took them.)

Picnicking with Eric’s parents….

gorgeous day at Suttle Lake…

climbing with Burk and Lydia…

camping…

road shot from Eric’s bike trip to the beach…

Summer berries…

beach sunsets…

and reading in the park with my love.

Today, alone and with not too much that needed to be done (because I wasn’t about to start deep cleaning just because the clutter was mostly put away…), I tried to rest and relax, to be alone but not lonely, unoccupied but not bored.  Because I dare not waste this season.

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